Parent / child perceptions

Forgive me a rant.

So Loki and I were at his house the other day, and I noticed something.

Everything he was saying about his parents is true, and it aggravates me to high hell. (Granted I believed him when he told me those things but to see a confirmation is just horrid.) He was saying that his parents don't have any faith in him or believe that he can do anything for himself. I believe, as I always have, that he is right... only now I can back it up.

His mother was talking to me while he was making sure that we had everything we needed. She was asking about his diabetes and everything else that she should have assumed he could do himself. (like make his own MEALS!) COME ON NOW!

She even made a point of asking ME to call her if WE needed anything. Like I'm some sort of all-knowing liason between her and her own son. I AM NOT HIS CARETAKER, I AM HIS FIANCE! THERE IS A DIFFERENCE! I know damn good and well that he can care for himself without me, and I appreciate that about him. I know that if everybody that has any idea what he has to do to make sure his blood sugar is under control passed out or somehow left this world, that he could manage it on his own, and he CERTAINLY knows how to cook for himself. Hell, he can cook better than I can, and has quite a few of his mom's recipies. So not only can he cook, he can make AMAZING noms.

I make a point of saying that I know for a fact that he can cook for himself because his mother told him while I was not there, before the dogsitting began, that I needed to be with him to fix his meals for him. And she KNOWS how much of a flop I am in the kitchen!!!

It just irks me to high hell that she'd treat him this way. I made a point of bringing up how they treated him (extremely carefully, of course) and made this statement: "I think that all parents always view their children as children rather than grown adults who can make their own decisions and take care of themselves." They not only agreed with me, but admitted to looking at Loki that way.

So, my question to everyone reading is this: How are parents supposed to let go? Do they ever? How is the child supposed to help the parents see them for who they are rather than the twelve year old boy or girl that they used to be? What is the child supposed to do when the parents refuse to open their eyes to reality?

Because let's face it - not many people are going to slap their parents in the face and say "WAKE UP YOU FUCKERS! I'M NOT A KID ANYMORE!" ... for whatever reasons.

I'm going to say this: Just because you are a parent doesn't mean you automatically deserve respect as if you were a god. You are falable. You will make mistakes. And just like 99.9% of the rest of the parents out there, you will probably find it hard to look at your adult offspring and acknowledge the fact that they are, indeed, grown and that they can, indeed, care for themselves.

ON A DIFFERENT TOPIC. My own parents are being douches as well. Loki and I were smoking on the back porch when they came home and mom made a point of being all "You know those are going to kill you, right?" Well yes, Mrs. Scarlet, I am fully aware that they have an adverse effect on my health... and frankly my dear, I don't give a damn. =3

Plus they're saying that they might not call me when they go to put the cat down. Because they've been looking for a reason to kill this cat off ever since she was diagnosed with hyperthyroidism. My mother has invented this breathing problem  and convinced my dad that the cat is breathing weird, so they're going to take her to the vet. I swear to god if I don't at least get to say goodbye that I won't forgive them. I won't hold it against them if they can't get ahold of me, but if they don't even try that's an entirely different matter.

On yet another note,  and this time not a ranty one! I am not really certain what to do here, so anybody who feels like giving input... please give it.

I have two opportunities for a job. One of them requires I spend about three grand and go to college at IU Health to be a Pharmacy Technician. The other is taking a post office job a little after July 4th. Both of them have excellent pay. The PO job doesn't give benifits, because I'll essentially be a substitute that's used frequently enough to get decent paychecks. ($12/hr 5 days a week for 8 hrs a day, driving a mail truck.) As a pharmacy tech I'll get somewhere around $14/hr, but there's considerably more stress, VERY limited class sizes (only 16 seats for the entire program...) and absolutely no income while going to school. Though the other needs about 3K that I can't come up with easily. My credit sucks ass so a loan is out of the question, and my parents certainly aren't helping... They keep saying that if I go back to college or land myself in jail (how they can say that in the same breath I'm not certain) that they won't help me. At all.

I want to do both, but doing both is out of the question. I can't work a 6am-5pm shift for the PO and go to college full time. I simply will not have the time... and this is not a work at your own pace sort of program, with a strict attendance and tardiness policy. (rerun of IBC, anybody?)

I truly do not know what to do here. I want to do both, but  haven't really sat down and made a list of pro's and con's yet.

Oh, and did I mention that the deadline for the application is April 30th? I also can't apply for the PO job until after July 4th, because that's when my latest accident falls off of my driving record. (that's the only thing that kept me from being hired... and there was nobody else hired from the same pool that i was in, nor has there been a pool of applicants since then. The PO is practically garanteed, where as this pharmacy tech thing isn't. Plus I'd be competing with Loki for a seat if we both wanted to do that, and I don't like that idea.

Well, I think I'm done. I have a strawberry daiquiri calling me, and I want to answer!

Talk to you later!

Listening - U2 Mysterious ways
Drinking - Strawberry Daiquiri!

Blessed Be,
SNT

SASHA'S MAKING MUSICKS~!

Holy hell.

I just got done spending an hour and a half on GarageBand on Loki's laptop, and holy shit I have freaking music! I have made music!

Granted, it's only out of the pre-recorded loops that came with the program itself, and rather short at two minutes flat, but I still had fun in creating it! AND IT SOUNDS DECENT!

I won't claim to have created professional DJ quality music, but I think it's pretty good. I'll have a link up for you as soon as it's uploaded to Newgrounds, and when I can get a new fan for my computer I'll have the song on my iPod. Yes, I enjoy my creation that much.

EDIT: Ok, so with Loki's laptop garageband won't save to .mp3 format, which means I can't upload the song until I burn the damn thing to a freaking disk and rip it back off of said disc. ... wut. I'm sorry but NO! JUST FOR TWO MINUTES OF MUSIC, I'll have to cough up a CD and burn it to said CD in order to use the damn thing. I tried sending it to iTunes, and it was sent in .aif format. uhm, what? 

... Forgive me for being rather negative and a bit of a n00b, but WHY THE HELL can I NOT  PERFORM such a SIMPLE TASK as getting a song to go from .band or .aif to A FREAKING .MP3 so I can AT LEAST put it on Newgrounds?! ARGH!

I swear to god, if I can get GarageBand or the equivilant for a windows system I'm going to do it. As much as I like trying new things, as much as I love Loki, and as much as his laptop has been a large help to me, I don't think I can stand doing anything other than ChaCha, checking my email, and getting on Facebook with it. I never really got the entire "how to use a mac 101" growing up, and I'm not entirely sure what they've done to compensate for the fact that macs can't right click (or even if they have), be it holding down some key and clicking or what... but whatever it is (if it exists) I am not aware of it, which just makes my life hell. (I grew up in a Windows only family... I'm used to viruses, spyware, malware, etc... but in return I can right-click for a GREAT DEAL MORE options than is normally possible and get more options as far as software.

... so now that my insane technology-related n00b rant is over, I'm going to go smoke and possibly have some tea. Because tea is always good in these situations.

Blessed Be,
~Sasha NT

Got any comments, questions, concerns? Drop me a line or, if you don't have any of my contact info, Leave me a comment and I'll look at it as soon as humanly possible! Thanks in advance!

It has happened!

Dimitri has passed from this world.

He passed Wednesday, March 2nd at 9:35 pm, three minutes after they took his oxygen mask off to give him his last rites as a Russian Orthodox Christian.

The funeral (which I'm not allowed to go to) will be held on Saturday the 5th in New York. There's also a memorial service for family only (that I'm also not allowed to go to) on Sunday.

Take care, Dimitri. You will be missed.