Stuff.

As the title suggested, I've kinda podfaded after my first episode of the podcast.

Mainly due to lack of creative juice to better it after getting an email suggesting said improvements, but it also doesn't help that the instrument I use for my podcast has vanished. (Loki's laptop.) I know exactly what happened to it... Loki took it back to play Minecraft with his nephews. Which is cool, it's his machine, though the podcast is shut down for a little bit.

Also, my cat got put down on Sunday. Her name was hope and I think she was 10 years old. She had hyperthyroidism and pancreatitus, as well as an upper respiratory infection. The former two she'd had for six months prior to this and we were managing all right, but the upper respiratory infection sort of pushed my parents to the brink of insanity. They were all like "She's suffering! put her down!" when we could have treated the infection and been all right. There was even medication for the hyperthyroidism that was about a dollar a day to drastically slow that debilitating disease, but they didn't want to mess with any of that.

So, am I wrong in thinking that my parents were just being lazy and/or cheapskates in their decision to put down my cat? I won't deny that she was suffering, but the majority of the suffering was from the easily treatable upper respiratory infection. For $50, one shot would have cured that infection and stayed in her system for two weeks. That's not all that bad if you ask me. and for one dollar a day we could have improved her quality of life significantly.

Also, another question for you: When you put an animal to sleep, you inject some anesthetic into their system to stop their hearts. I know that anesthesiology is used for the alleviation of pain, but I wonder: when does the animal actually die? All the anesthetic does is put the animal's heart into cardiac arrest. After that animal's heart stops it's still technically alive... you could revive it, I think, if there wasn't too much in their system but it would be difficult. Does all brain activity cease after a certain point? Logic dictates that within that animal its cells are still alive and reproducing. The systems that are stopped within the animal, to my mind, are the heart and lungs so the animal appears dead... but in my mind what's -really- happening is the animal slowly suffocates to death and/or dies of that cardiac arrest, and i'm not sure which it is. There's no oxygen to the cells so they start dying, and even if the lungs -were- pumping there's no blood circulation so the cells die anyway.

Thinking about it that way it seems really cruel to me. But then again, I'm sort of known for over thinking things like this. And I know there's not any pain involved, as the heart was stopped using an overdose of anesthesia, but I still wonder how much brain activity is still going on after the animal's heart stops, and how long it takes for that activity to cease. Imagine going into cardiac arrest and suffocating to death, but not being able to do anything about it or even MOVE. That's my biggest problem... if it's done to a human that isn't some sort of convict, it's cruel, but to an animal it's humane. Why do we have this double standard? Who decided that this was acceptable? It's better than the old way of putting an animal to sleep, which was gassing them, but I STILL WONDER.

Yeah it was awkward when I burst into tears at Loki's work today. Nobody saw me that I know of but it felt like the entire world was staring at me because I was in public and an absolute mess. Luckily Loki went on break shortly after I had that little meltdown, but comfort was short lived unfortunately. Had another episode after Loki had gotten me reasonably calm, and smoked WAY too much in trying to comfort myself. (Read: I went through about a half a pack in about 4 hours. That's roughly a cigarette every thirty minutes, which is WAY out of the ordinary for me.)

One of these days a post like this one is going to get me into a lot of trouble, I think. ... oh well, I'll cross that bridge when I get to it I guess.

IN OTHER NEWS: let it be known that the subway near my house is absolutely amazing in terms of quality breakfast sandwiches, excellent service (very accurate and friendly, very willing to bend over backwards to give you what you want it seems), AND ALL THIS in a clean environment. You don't find that very often anymore, especially in the realm of breakfast SUBS. I don't think they even existed before Subway started it.

Oh also, if anybody knows a place that I could live on my own free from parental constraints, children under the age of 15 (or a room with a lock on the door), unreasonable expectations as far as rent/household chores are concerned, with public transportation OR easy access to amenities I'd need via bike, PLEASE hook me up. As much as I love my parents I think my mother whittled away about half of yesterday babbling on about useless stuff that I really didn't need to know or have any interest in. I realize that the topics she was speaking on were important to her... that's why I smiled, nodded, and tolerated her FREQUENT intrusions into my room without having the common decency to knock. For all she knows I could have been "Self-servicing" myself, and that would have just been awkward. Plus I'd like the ability to have Loki over whenever I damn well please, and not have to answer to anybody if caught napping beside him in a questionable amount of clothing... because yes, sometimes we do this. (this is where the "no children under 15 or a lock on the door" thing comes into play. I have no problem babysitting, but I'd like to be able to have private time with my future husband without having to explain the birds and the bees to my roommate's children because we were caught doing the deed. I don't plan on explaining that to any children except my own, and even then after they're at an age to understand it.)

Also, I think that my parents may have a rodent problem. I keep hearing clicking noises inside the walls, even after all of the animals in my house have been put to sleep. My dad keeps saying it's the house settling, but I hear it almost every night and early morning. I've heard it for the entire time we've been here. You'd think that a house would eventually settle all it can settle for a given period of time, but then again I'm not an architect so I really wouldn't know. I'd still get the place checked for mice, cockroaches, termites, and other little annoyances if I ever got rich and bought this house off my parents. I'd also replace the carpeting and invite my friends to come over and help me repaint the house and do other minor repairs, because this place needs it rather badly. (there are two GIANT cracks in my wall that my parents refuse to fix, and a portion of my ceiling that's threatening to leak on my head when sitting at the computer.)

Also, if you haven't already head over to my other blog, LOCATED HERE, and check out the story that I haven't named yet. (click 'unnamed story' in the labels list and read from bottom to top.) I'm looking for ideas on how to advance the plot after a certain point, as well as critique from readers, so I'd really love to hear from you! Leave me a comment on the other blog and I'll be more than happy to look at what you have to say!

Well, I'm going to go. Loki's gtalking me, and I would rather give him my full attention rather than half of it.

Blessed Be,
SNT

Listening: Rihanna Te Amo
Eating: Chocolate chips, yum!!