What a lot of people should learn.

RESPECT.

I'll link the post that I just made in my book of shadows: CLICK HERE

So yeah, respect. it's a touchy subject for some, because while they were growing up they never received it. and for others it is easily given.

What I'm interested in knowing, however, is how everybody who reads this determines what level of respect is given upon first meeting a new person. (before answering, read my post in my BoS. Disagree with me if you want, as each person is entitled to his or her own opinion.) This is one of the few posts where I will not edit, delete, or censor any responses.

And while we're on the topic of stuff people should learn, let's talk about patience.

Granted I'm not the best at it in certain situations, but I'm working at getting better. Honestly, if a person is patient with me while I'm learning something important to them or while I'm having a brain fart, my respect for that person goes up. I value them as a friend more than I would someone who is condecending or mean while I'm trying to grasp a new concept.

Because let's face it, I'm not the brightest crayon in the box and sometimes learning new things is hard. Other times, it's easy. How long it takes me honestly depends on the subject matter to be learned.

And that's only my opinion... I'm sassy, I'm sometimes super defiant, and downright stubborn when it comes to habits and things I am rather attached to. Imagine someone who is patient with, for example, a senior citizen, or perhaps a small child. The child will consider you a role model for that trait, and the senior citizen will give you more respect and trust.

At least, that's how I see it.

And as far as honesty, that's something I've struggled with a lot... I sometimes still do struggle with it, and have come to accept that. I've at least got it so I don't lie to people that matter to me unless it's a life-and-death matter, and those don't come up very often if at all. For new people however, I struggle in giving them enough respect to tell them the whole, unabridged truth on important matters.

Why? Because I'm afraid of what they'll think of me. Of how they'll judge me. I'm afraid of the consequences. However if I can get over that, and tell them the truth (even if it's missing some details here and there) then I will garner more trust and respect from those I meet.

I learned not to lie the hard way. I lost an at least halfway decent relationship because of it. (Yes, Bryan, I'm talking about you.) I have to admit that I'm still fond of this person, but I also have to admit that I have found someone better... I know that's going to hurt Bryan if he ever reads this, but at least I'm having the decency to put it out there for him to find, if he really wants to know.

I consider him a good friend. He's honest with me, he's smart (about on par with a friggin GENIUS, for crying out loud! The man makes me look like the village idiot! ON CRACK!), he's kind-hearted,  and sometimes thoughtful. He's also able to look at a lot of things without bias. And those things make him a wonderful person.

However, Loki... He and I are on the same intelligence level. We can talk about whatever the fuck we want, and understand each other without even thinking about it. He starts a sentence and I finish it. he does a lot of the little things that make my heart just melt, like opening doors and offering to put off his plans because of some whim I had, even if it's a passing one. He's all manner of kind, generous, and understanding. He has does not anger easily (I have yet to anger him... but then again I haven't tried, nor am I going to unless pushed to do so.) and I am quite happy for that. He's funny in a way that I can understand, and we've gone through a lot of the same BULLSHIT in our pasts, so we can be there for one another and actually UNDERSTAND what's going on in the others' head. We like a lot of the same things -music, movies, places, food, scents, books, games, SOME political stuff... and even when we differ on whatever the subject is we don't shove our beliefs down the others' throat or try to prove our point unless asked. Abortion, for example. He's pro-choice, I'm pro-life. Then again, I have a reason to be pro-life... I was adopted. My mother could have killed me before I even took my first breath of air. I would feel dirty if I took that stance. It doesn't feel right to me, and he respects that personal choice of mine. I also respect his belief that a woman should have the choice to go to a licensed doctor to have an abortion done in a sterile environment rather than go to some bum in an ally with a coat hanger, who also happens to be hung over.

But I digress, majorly. RESPECT. HONESTY. PATIENCE. One of those three reasons accounts for why every single one of my past relationships has failed, save the one I'm in now. I've been done both ways on each word, and none of them are really pleasant.

Honesty - Most, if not all, relationships that have failed in my past because of me relate to this topic. I was a huge liar. Though there are a few who lied to me in huge ways (cheating, stealing... all denying it when I had PROOF they were doing it) and I am not friends with these people, nor will I ever be again because of that.

Respect - Mostly towards me, but there was one relationship where I didn't respect the other person involved and majorly fucked it up.

Patience - again, mostly done toward me... Be it patience enough to wait to fuck (when I was a virgin, or if I didn't know the person well enough to be comfortable) or patience when trying to explain something to me when I was having a blonde moment or on my period. Also, don't try to say that I'm using my period as an excuse for my actions/reactions... That's not true. I am more irritable, but that does not mean that I am not in control of my actions. Emotions, maybe not so much sometimes, but actions I -can- control with a bit of effort. And I wasn't patient enough with them (or myself) to exercise that control when it was my fault for the relationship ending.

Give those three things to the other person and it'll work out! CHRIST what is WRONG with my generation if we can't even give people basic truth, respect, and patience?! (I'm not really one to talk, as you all know by now, but my point still stands!) We are all people. We all have needs and wants, and we certainly all have some level of intellect and emotional need. Recognize that, be in tune to those things when interacting with others, and you'll get the same in return. Life will be a whole lot easier.